I will be rude, but I hate the first day at a new job, despite I do everything to stay cool and relaxed, that’s how the story goes.
Together with PTSD Beautiful Trauma 2.0 I am starting sharing more about me. It’s not because I feel better, or recovered, that life is all flowers and roses. Milestones have to be conquered, and mastered still, like my stress management. The difference is that I am exploring an insight that might be interesting for anybody, of course. The magic purpose of sharing lol
Symptoms: nausea, headache, bad digestion. Ok, it can be more speaking to ladies, because YES I am in my moon days – the Native Americans say it nicely.
So you will find in the bottom a link, especially for ladies, dealing with moon phases (full and new) which I find so absolutely true. Give me that pillow to curl in… and chocolate !!!!
Back to this New Restart, now, talking about my First Day at job, today.
My enlightment came when I left a voice recording to my Mum (yes Mam;), early this morning, where I explained to her how bad I have been this night, and because she knows me by heart and she has the same “symbiosis” living things, in fearful and anxious way, I made a little a fool of her, because I wasn’t born in a natural way. I was delivered cesarean!!!!
Then, I suddenly remembered that Hillmann (if I am not wrong, The Soul’s Code) wrote something about our birth traumatic experience which in fact it is. Can you imagine how well we were in a liquid environement, nourished, warm … and suddenly, out in the dry, cold world? Can you remember your first caugh caugh? I can’t; I didn’t have any. I was delivered three weeks before, and a thin white powder was still on my skin (for pizza!!!). I wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t finished lol
Yeah, this is our very first trauma, as human beings. Then Hillman continues talking about the hardship of grounding for souls, on this Earth, and he gives a beautiful example, that I read by chance, when Judy Garland story came out on the big screen.
Now All I want is trying this rebirthing therapy, where you can live once more your birth, and reconnect with your baby you. The baby inner child. I bet there is a connection between my anxious feelings of world-ending thoughts, and pain in my belly, and my pseudo-birth. Oh nope, even my birth was a fake!!!!
There are studies, babies who struggle at the birth get stronger later in their lives, they know how to thrive and maybe they are less scared from New Beginnings.
I was born in a New Moon also. I read that people born in dark moons are more frequently drawn to New Restarts and Change in their lives.
I could see this in my job life, and love life, for sure. I also moved from my home country, for short lapses of time, like in Dublin, in 1994, or France in 2008 until today. My soul mission is attracting foreign countries and the unknown.
To make it short, I’d better come to mattrass with these feelings, on a New Start, failing to sabotage herself on her First Day in a new service that apparently is Pretty Cool (and I so much needed to go out from my comfort zone – and home!!!!).
I will give you a shout if I find some nice meditation okay? Viceversa, I would appreciate if this post resonates with you and you have already done any therapies including “rebirthing” or regressive hypnosis, as well.
I am DOWN.