Darkest Before Dawn — Heni’s Happy Paintings

Bonsoir Atlanta;)

Darkest Before Dawn is my new painting. Each year around the International Day of Peace I like to paint a dove of peace. I’m a little behind the curve as the date was on September 21st but better late than never. I decided to paint a dove flying at night as lately it seems that […]

Darkest Before Dawn — Heni’s Happy Paintings

Oh, well, tonight, on 21st of December, I found a like on my post and just can’t stop watching all of her art work. You can like it or not, she puts a story on each painting and it’s quite realistic. I like her series from mythical creatures to sea life and doves for the international Peace Day on 21st September. Ok Heni, you made my day, thank you. I am posting here only the most speaking to me at this moment in life.

Sorry, Heni, I am skipping all production about cats; they are a cutie, and I love the story that you write for each painting. Well done ! I wish you and your family Happy Holidays from Paris suburbs in a winter Solstice Day. Definitely, I feel this is Darkest before Dawn sign indeed.

Being a “Gifted” Person. What a pressure?

Today I got this article in my mails, and I am glad to share the message this lady puts in her story.

First, I never felt gifted for anything, except my writing skills, and yes, I have always wondered if writing books or articles could be a way for me to get to Success.

In 2005 and 2006 I was asked to write articles on a local magazine, and it was just amazing, to finally express my point of view on topics I could choose around “identity”.

My editor wanted me to put my wit and sense of humour in it. The local magazine was free and reached all people of my hometown. Thousand and five hundred copies. Also, I earned 15 euros per each article. That was pretty cool.

In fact, it was a way for me to – finally – get attention from my father, who was very macho as Italian man, and had a belief that women didn’t have any right of speech. Wow ( yes! and I still love him ). My writing earned his consideration as “thinking being”, as Woman Writer. Bingo!

Lately, in 2016-17, I went through one of toughest time of my life. This time I was alone, and my family (my mother) couldn’t do it for me. I definitely had to grow up in managing with difficulties, and so I did. A time for life challenge, and Growth. During one year and a half, my spare time was taken by writing ….so, I finally did it, and I wrote my book, and you know what?

Today, I don’t give a damn. For sure, If I take it and start reading all my struggle takes a breath and starts kicking again. That’s not the purpose. The goal was simply writing a book, not being succesful, or becoming a best-seller. Get it?

Btw I am putting my memoir in italian on an english speaking website 🙂 This is the proof that sales are not the point ( not even sure any of my friends really bought it on Amazon as they told me to please me lol ).

But I want to show you that if you want it, you can do it. And the fact to put it on a “form”, as book, with pages and stuff, can be really amazing. It will be the company of my old days, I bet it. When I will laugh about all this shit called “getting a job and stick on to it in order to pay off your bills”, or “fake it until you make it”.

Potential is there. Okay. What gives a sense to it? In my case, sharing my values and feelings, or thoughts, that’s a grand deal. The rest, is not my business.

So, the job career I am leading now, it’s not really about evolution, or promotion, which seem to be forbidden to me, like I didn’t deserve, understand? Burn out in a job career profile puts a dot on your CV, right? You are no more trustable. Your manager gives you a chance, first because she needs you, second, because she has to. Def, Occupational Medicine is there to protect you, guys and gals…. find a good listening, this is the first step to get help.

Well, my job career, today, it’s simply about Resistance. Resist the cliché, resist the pressure of too much work (they just want to put machines and goodbye humans), and keep my smile shining out loud. There are a few lessons I learnt here, now that I am signing my next contract on a term, of 12 months, … one of these:

Many of people around you – unconsciously, or not – wish that you are not happy and hope that things in your life don’t go the way you want, because they are frustrated, and damn, they are so jealous of others lives and success !!!

Have a ** GOOD DAY **

Stay alive xx

Back from holidays.


It’s OK for me to be “gifted” and not be “living up to my potential,” by society’s standards. Living up to your potential is a lie our society tells us. Forget this arbitrary standard of potential. You don’t owe anything to the world if you are “gifted.” Live your life the way that is right for you. Managing your mental illnessesthat in itself makes you a warrior fighting an important battle. Every day, choose how you want to live. Live your life the way that makes sense to you. I believe that even when battling chronic mental illnesses, we can find ways to have peace and joy, by our own standards. And I believe we all deserve that.



Magazine Article (french): Resilience.

This is a number one topic on PTSD and trauma recover. As soon as I can, I’ll find the way to translate the 8 keys to build up your Strenght. I am actually quite busy on my last editing of my paperback to put on Amazon for my Italian camerades.

The pictures of this article are smashing. Btw during this path to recover I have often felt like underwater ; overwhelmed gives you the right emotional feeling that you can’t breath properly and some dark force is pushing you down to the abyss.



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Until you become a neptunian and begin to swim like a beautiful, strong yet graceful Mermaid.

For the side story, I bought this one in Bologna Airport, on my last trip back home to visit my family. Shells come from Adriatic Sea. Except the ammonite, which I found on the deep waters of the internet lol.

It goes without saying that Neptune is the king of the Subconscious (Mind) World. Did you guess?

Shells as christian symbolism stay for “listen”, listen to your Inner Voice.

L'immagine può contenere: cibo e spazio al chiuso

Subconjunctival Hemorrhage. Or blood burst of the Mind.

Stress, here we go again, I woke up in the morning, and after my gums infections, I got this red eye, or burst blood, on my left eye.

Doctors say it’s nothing at all, blood pressure is fine and I am having all my vitamins.

Ok, I left the blog behind for a week, cos I am muting service. Since it’s not terrific, never mind, I had the chance to come back to the previous service. And it’s still temporary. My HR assistant is still not understanding which are my priorities, furthermore if I reject any missions I am fired.

Occupational medicine is supporting me, so I took this rendez vous with my actual doctor, and he did what it was needed to do. We’ll see how things evolve, in the mean time, I am preparing my italian CV and see what I can do to create this nice, peaceful and meaningful picture called …future.

Btw, broken blood finally shows what’s going on INSIDE of My Heart. It’s nothing at all, doctor says, it will reabsorb and heal it self. Alright. Heart can heal it self, too. With a bunch of Self Love, of course.

Yeah, eyes are the window of our Soul. Did you know?


Park Slope Eye

You were having a great day until someone looked at you and said “Oh my god! Your eye is bleeding!” You head to the mirror and you are taken back at what you see. Your eye wasn’t bothering you but you are stunned to see the normally white part of you eye is bright red. You can’t recall anything happening to your eye, it doesn’t hurt and your vision seems to be fine as well. The good news is that this is typically something that looks way worse than what it really is. This frightfully appearing condition is most likely to be diagnosed as a subconjunctival hemorrhage, a broken blood vessel.

When a tiny blood vessel breaks just underneath the clear cellophane like layer of your eye (conjunctiva), the trapped blood spreads out quickly, leaving you with a grossly red eye. This is the equivalent of a broken blood vessel…

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