Thoughts on: “Tribe” by Sebastian Junger

Thank you for reviewing top number One book for me in 2018. Btw I finally got my Instagram account, let’s see what else can we share. Great to see odd people are increasing on my network.

Cheers
xx

Poor Bjorn's Notes to Self

“Tribe” started as an article for Vanity Fair and was later expanded on and turned into this book. It revolves around how at odds the structure of modern society is with our tribal instincts and how people directly, or indirectly, affected by war have problems readjusting to normal life.

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What really stuck with me with this book was how people in war torn nation look back on war with nostalgia. Many even preferring war times to what they are now experiencing.

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📝 Genetic adaptation takes about 25000 years to accumulate in humans.

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📝 Modern society perfected the art of making people feel unnecessary. “How do you become an adult in a society that doesnt ask for sacrifice?”

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📝 People need 3 basic things in order to be content:

– Feel competent in what they do.

– Feel authentic in their lives.

– Feel connected to others.

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What’s PTSD?

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If you agree, we – as human beings – were born to be a wholebalanced, and strongindividuals. Greek philosophers, and physicians, say that the natural state of things is calm and, sophrology – the science that studies the Consciousness – promotes body, mind and spirit harmony (SOS = free from diseases, balances. PHREN = diaphragm, emotional heart and by extension, spirit, conscience. LOGOS = Science, study, speech).

So, naturally, PTSD occur as a consequence of a lack of it. The fact is that you don’t realize at which cost, until your life becomes a mess, when you finally admit that something has broken, and you need help to fix it. It can be a physical wound, or invisible, when it concerns heart and soul, or if you are blessed enough, as brits would say, both.

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Before 2015, I used to practice Yoga, once a week, basically to keep healthy, in a good shape and mood, it was relaxing, and I could fully stretch my body, especially my neck, happily turning 40.

After the 2015 events (january and november), I got completely unbalanced, both emotionally, and physically, put on weight, panic attacks, anger outbursts, no way to do my job anymore, like dealing with typical visitors problem solving (e.g. lost baggages, fully booked restaurants,..), or simply baring mood swings of my bipolar colleague. As soon as someone started crying or yelling for any reason, my self defense felt in danger (“that freeze, fly or fight thing”).

In february 2016,  I was diagnosed obviously inadequate to my position, until today.

For the short storytime, I knew panic and fear on a terrorist attack at workplace and PTSD soon started with insomnia, poor emotional intelligence like Hulk’s syndrome,  inability to put words on my own feelings, anxiety and fear of going crazy, exhaustion and chronique fatigue disease, after sleep burn out, tremors (mouth, legs, hands), tachycardia, and memory loss, just to mention a few. Others symptoms you can’t just describe, like a sort of electrochemical pinching in your veins, especially in legs, or warmth flames in the back, which give you the right sense of burning inside.

“A short circuit of your soul.” 

It goes without saying, my health was severely damaged, as you know stress is quite dangerous for neurons, once they are gone, they don’t regenerate, so you start aging earlier, that’s also why, today, it’s not so rare to see stress effects in people who suffer Alzheimer’s syndrom much younger than 60, or stroke and heartattack victims.

By the way, I lost three colleagues between 27 and 43, in 5 months, does it count for stress disorders statistiques? Of course, it doesn’t, except if you can prove it. And you can’t. Occupational joke between Medicine and Managament states that it’s confidential.

During my journey, back from burn out, I have been told several times that this is the illness of the strong. And this is one of the main reasons why I feel a proud trauma survivor, today. Of course, you have to consider a deep cleaning of your personal life, as well as a full transformation of your jobcareer and lifestyle. 

You can’t figure out coping with PTSD and holding on the same life schedule than before trauma. It involves stop overthinking, letting go, and modulating negative emotional responses compared with the healthy controls.

“You need some yoga in your life.”  

Yoga practice really made a difference for me. It brought “justice” to my body and mind, especially since I am doing it regularly, almost everyday.

Check out Ted Nevins’s story “a soldier’s surprising journey to becoming a yogi” on the following: Warrior Spirit Retreat

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Thanks to a welsh penpal, and army brit, nicknamed Salad Dodger, my attention was caught by an association for Combat Stress, and reading an article I was quite shocked, because some of my burn out symptoms were perfectly matching with war vets PTSDafter battlefield.

This study led me to another article written from the american journalist, Sebastian Junger, published by Vanity Fair, who experienced PTSD on his way back from Afghanistan, where he spent 15 months on a mission with a Battle Company.

“Sometimes, we ask ourselves if we can save the vets, I think the real question is if we can save ourselves.”

To resume up, PTSD symptoms can be:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Dissociation
  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Irritability and outbursts of anger
  • Suicidal thoughts and suicide
  • Alcohol misuse and dependence
  • Sexual problems and confusion about sexuality

Other effects:

  • Eating disorders
  • Self-injury and self-harming behaviour
  • Transient psychotic episodes
  • Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Dissociative Identity Disorder
  • Somatisation – Emotional distress experienced as physical pain
  • Increased rates of physical conditions like heart disease and cancer
  • Homelessness Re-victimisation Prostitution
  • Criminal behaviour (including, for a small minority, sexual offences)
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of confidence
  • Sleep problems
  • Parenting problems
  • Relationship problems
  • Trust issues

 

 

via What’s PTSD?

Understanding is the key to trauma healing.

Brendan Obyrne speaks out about his alcohol addiction, and what really helps healing back from combat. Talking to other veterans, or alcoholics, more than VA associations or other civilians.

Yes, I might repeat my self, but I really appreciate the work of this journalist, and completely support it. I find that he gives finally back humanity to the troops, behind patriotism propaganda, politics, and bla bla bla….

And, dealing with trauma, of course, I feel concerned.

Btw I am on the “War” reading, and the book starts with a visit to a veteran interview,  from Sebastian and Brendan. Here, in this video, you can see both.

Brokenhearted, Afghan refugee. Not ‘frenchy’, enough.

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Today, I had my lunch at the work canteen, with my friend, Samir. We have been working at the luggage service, during 5 months, once back from my sick leave. One of the most kind-at-hearted person I have ever met. A real dude. Not only he shared his personal story with me and our colleagues, when he early arrived at the service. But he sudden became one of my best friends, although 15 years younger than me (28 – 43).

We haven’t met since a while, and before meeting him, I wondered if I could interview him, like Sebastian Junger would. In order to put his story on this blog and give another point of vew, the “afghan refugee”. We take our meal, on a table, among french and many other nationalities, around us. “So, what’s up, anto?” He asks me. And I start telling him about my last books, Tribe, War in Afghanistan and so on. Before I can tell him about the concept behind my last hero’s mind, he shows me the picture of an Italian girl he’s been hanging on during the past year. Ok, I see. Forget the long way from Kabul through Turkey and Greece. Samir needs a couple of open ears.

What’s wrong with me? I gave her all the attention and also made a Christmas present, and she hasn’t been honest with me. She had a boyfriend. And now she is with another guy, a technicien. I was such a gentleman.

And I know, he really means it.

 

C

 

Before we continue in our conversation, I try to savour my gnocchi with italian mascarpone gorgonzola cheese mixed with swiss gruyere. Yes, yum.

The girl in the picture reminds me of pretty girls who know how to get favours from good guys like him. The kind of girls I hated when younger. Cutie, smiling pretty faces with long brown hair, with trendy sunglasses. She comes from Sicily. She shocks my friend by saying that he is not french enough. That she prefers dating frogs.

“Stop being kind.” I cry at him, calm but firmly. “You knoe, between gangster and gentleman there is a balance. Got it? Next time, Sam, I will shut at you like marines trainers, if you don’t catch it.”

Samir is proud, he gets his own car, they are 7 in the family, I once met his little sister, she is a clever, smart little girl. We went to the amusement park and had fun, together, like a family.  We have a small talk, and I wonder if he’s still thinking to leave for US. “It’s a misery, anywhere, now.”

Sadly, but truely.

Before I let him go, he drops me at the bus stop, and tells me he’s going to Iran for holidays, part of his family is still there. And Dubai, Turkey. “Do you feel safe there?” “You know, anto, I respect the law wherever I go. If you don’t act stupid, there is no issue. No matter the Country. Don’t you think?”

Deep, and wise, Samir: respect is the key.

Both traveling, and flirting.

A good day to all

ab xx

 

 

 

 

 

Hello, bonjour Vietnam.

Hello, bonjour all Human Kindness 🙂

I have almost finished my book reading of “Tribe”. A few pages left. Thank you Sebastian Junger, and thank your Dad’s, for those inspiring conversations.

Me, too, I made a “new world” talking at the table with my daddy, when he left me express my thoughts, once in a while. He passed me all time heros like artists eg. Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo, to endavours eg. Magellano, De Gama, Cristoforo Colombo. He made me love sport Champions eg. Jim Thorpe, and co-regional Marco Pantani, or wanting to visit Indian American Reservations and Tierra del Fuego with Southern Emisphere sky. We’ve been watching all time western and war movies, sharing Clint Eastwood’s icy look, and wanting to visit Normandy at all costs which I did.

Savonarola, Giordano Bruno and Erasmo da Rotterdam have been our best companion during our meals. Can’t miss Galileo, and Universe laws ( first famous story about the apple or second, actually lol ).

This song reminds me of that vietnam colleague, Nia ( wrong spelling ), who once told me how she ran for one month through Vietnam woods, in the night. Her mom left her at average 9-11, with a rice bowl, before saying goodbye. Oh, they met again, I guess years later. She lives and works today in Parisian region at housekeeping. She is quite a discrete woman, her accent is strong and I hardly understood what she was telling me. But I capted the most.

What shakes me most in my talking with asiats, is that there is no hate, no revenge against americans. This impressed me much. The asiats I know are pretty peaceful people and smiling persons. I wish you, all VA americans, to find that inner peace and forgiveness you deserve. We can change our story.

Like Galileo, we need to look at the Past from another perspective. Could you imagine that Earth was a ball? A blue dot? Could you say that there are more Gods? Which one is the Good one? Who holds the Truth? Governements lies are bullshits, so what? Can you make a choice for your Self? Today, I mean. Who fuc***, ok, who fucking bothers still of what happened 50 years ago? Isn’t time to move forward?

Are you still stuck in a viet wood? You know what? Nia did it. She was an innocent and she is alive, and sewing skirts for californian rangers. So, why couldn’t You? aren’t the guilty, the dirty, the ones who deserve more Self Love and Compassion?

Isn’t this the right time to release Anger out from your lungs? Spit on your grave, if you like, if you think it helps you. Or wouldn’t be nicer if you put a red rose on your cross?

I would. I like red color. Like blood, true love and roots chakra.

YOU were born to be American and Patriot, not me. My life, until now, got less meaning than yours, my sense of call and service is still strong, but look at YOU.

Be proud. Be fair to your Self. I wish you can recover and BECOME the best version of Your Self.

Knoe that, if you can’t forgive Your Self, nobody will, in your place.

Luv xx

 

Tell me all about this name, that is difficult to say.
It was given me the day I was born.

Want to know about the stories of the empire of old.
My eyes say more of me than what you dare to say.

All I know of you is all the sights of war.
A film by Coppola, the helicopter’s roar.

One day I’ll touch your soil.
One day I’ll finally know your soul.
One day I’ll come to you.
To say hello… Vietnam.

Tell me all about my colour, my hair and my little feet
That have carried me every mile of the way.

Want to see your house, your streets. Show me all I do not know.
Wooden sampans, floatings markets, light of gold.

All I know of you is the sights of war.
A film by Coppola, the helicopter’s roar.

One day I’ll touch your soil.
One day I’ll finally know your soul.
One day I’ll come to you.
To say hello… Vietnam.

And Buddha’s made of stone watch over me.
My dreams they lead me through the fields of rice.
In prayer, in the light…I see my kin.
I touch my tree, my roots, my begin…

One day I’ll touch your soil.
One day I’ll finally know your soul.
One day I’ll come to you.
To say hello… Vietnam.

One day I’ll walk your soil
One day I’ll finally know my soul
One day I’ll come to you.
To say hello…Vietnam
To say hello…Vietnam
To say xin chao…Vietnam.

Grandpa was an Italian navy led.

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Yes, according to Sebastian Junger, from his book « Tribe », people who develop chronic PTSD are more likely to have lived experiences before going to war or living their trauma. « Statistically, the 20 per cent of people who fail to overcome trauma tend to be those who are already burdened by psychological issues, either because they inherited them or because they suffered abuse as children. » As long as I’m concerned, depression was a family “present”. Depression, in my own words, is the way your soul is telling you how much you NEED to be loved. My grandfather used to spend days in bed, because of financial burdens. He was born in 1910, can you imagine ? Previous treatment for depression was electroshock. By the way, he died at age of 95. His last years he followed a therapy with psychodrug injections. His dreams turned into nightmares. He once told me that he woke up dreaming that he was LITERALLY on fire. The rest of the time, he was okay, especially, when he could hear classical music on his ears. No, not mp3, but simply allucinations.

At age 20, he was a navy led, he proudly attended the Amerigo Vespucci training school, and enjoyed telling me his stories from sailing with Admiral Alberto Da Zara ( one of most renowned charachter, in Italian Royal Navy, who asked him to take care of his own dog, Pippo, on leave time ). His fave tale at Xmas eve. It’s not natural, that grandpas die before we get old. I would like he could speak to me now, and teach me, how to sort all of this mess out.

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« Learn english ». This was his statement. « It will open you doors ». He told me this after telling me the story of that unforgettable trip on the Channel, when he had the worst time of his life, because of very bad weather, and eventually, thought he wouldn’t come back home again. He made good friends on that trip, and definitely, enjoyed talking to brits. My grandpa was a storyteller, and, of course, as little girl I was taught to listen to elderly, but I did enjoy it, I promise. So was and still is my dad. This means not only we have the same way to face difficulties (depression is a reaction), but also, we pass on the same way to cope with them. So, pay attention on the illnesses and diseases your family is suffering since generations. They tell you who you are. If this is your case, the 20 per cent is telling you that you are a highly sensitive person and you have to take care of your Self. And your family, it goes without saying.

Sensitive : easily upset by the things people say or do, or causing people to be upset, embarrassed, or angry.

Are your an HSP? Try this :http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/