Emotional Trigger: how to go through it.


Courtesy of https://henishappypaintings.files.wordpress.com/

“Let shame be shame” (Andreas, Navy led reserve, sport coach from London)

Dolphins are connected with the power of breath and with emotional release, which are also both deeply connected. One of the most important factors in spiritual growth is to give ourselves the freedom of full experiencing our feelings and emotions. Often negative emotions are suppressed as we don’t want to be a part of them, so we try to stay apart from them. Feelings of sadness, pain, anger, grief. We need to stop doing this, as this only lays the foundation for disagreeable outcomes. We need to feel our feelings, by suppressing these feelings, of course they DO NOT go away. They are still there, subconsciously, manifesting blocked energy with-in, and if these blocks aren’t removed, this can go on to physical imbalances, with-out. On top of this, by blocking these so called negative feelings, this can result in losing the quality of being able to feel at all, losing much of life’s joy. Becoming dead to the world.


Courtesy of https://henishappypaintings.files.wordpress.com/

Message from Whale. Recognize that you are the creator of your life. Clear your consciousness from negative energy, from conversations, experiences, and your own internal dialogue. Release emotionally charged thoughts. Water assists in regaining emotional balance.


Courtesy of http://repinned.net/pin/design/giraffe-illustration-caught-my-eye.html

According to Shepard (1979), selfacceptance is an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with oneself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Selfacceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Just like the Robin, the giraffe spirit animal symbolizes selfacceptance and selflove. The giraffe is proud of its appearance and knows that it is truly unique in the world. You should be like the giraffe and be proud of your beauty. … Your giraffe totem has its long and graceful neck as its most prominent feature.

Dark Night: How to get through it?

Ask Totem Animals Silent Guides for help.

Webster’s Dictionary defines a totem as: “A natural object, usually an animal that serves as a distinctive, often venerated emblem or symbol. A means of personal or spiritual identity.

Check out What’s your Sign for more Inner Awareness and Totem Animal Symbolism.


Courtesy of Heni’s Happy Paintings – her art work is on WP and Etsy.

What Does Jellyfish Symbolize? Jellyfish is a symbol of love, so if it appears in your life, it means that you should trust your heart and follow your own emotions. It is also a symbol of acceptance and balance. … The jellyfish is a symbol of faith, intuition and sensitivity as well.

Courtesy of Designstack.co


The polar-bear spirit animal is a powerful spirit guide. It’s not surprising because the polar-bear symbolism represents strength and endurance, as well as acceptance and surrender. Just like the bear spirit animal, the polar-bear meaning is telling you that you should surrender to where you are in your life.

Courtesy of sutton abc

Self care.

The shark spirit animal is a peaceable predator. If you want to know the meaning of the shark symbolism, it is to be strong and aggressive when it comes to opportunities and challenges. At the same time, forge lasting friendships and work hard to keep the peace

Courtesy of Zentangle Doodle on Deviantart

The shark spirit guide asks you to take care of yourself. He encourages you to practice self-care on a regular basis. Additionally, the shark meaning in your life has to do with change. This totem helps you to understand that some changes are not good. It calls upon you to hold your ground in order not to disrupt things that are important to your existence. If you feel that someone – or a situation – is imposing certain changes in your life, don’t feel obliged to accept it. When the shark spirit animal comes into your life, you will have a clear understanding of the changes that you should accept. All the other changes are detrimental to your growth. They are likely to compromise your security and threaten your sense of personal growth. The shark spirit guide lets you know that change should not take place just for the sake of it. If you are on the right path, keep going strong. Also, the shark meaning in your life has to do with your protection. It comes into your life to re-ignite your motivation.

Courtesy of Zentangle

You need to protect what keeps you going.

Furthermore, the shark spirit guide asks you to take care of your health. It’s okay to work hard. However, take time off every now and then to relax and nurture your health. The shark is likely to appear in your life when you have a lot of emotional drama in your life. It fortifies you so that the drama does not engulf you.

The Isolation Period of healing …

It is necessary to take yout time and make up your mind, in order to recover and find your True Self.

The Awareness Games

Be the hero/heroin of your Story.

All comics with courtesy of Tom King and Clay Mann from stunning art work “Heroes in Crisis” (2018).

The Awareness Games – Psychology for Beginners.

Tonight I am proudly publishing my first very creative project on Emotional Intelligence. Psychology is like Spiritual Alchemy and it can transform our story in a hero/heroin’s journey. So, let’s take this adventure together!

Story Time

The idea was caught together with Andreas, UK navy led reserve, sport coach and cheerful half ukranien/half british friend met on the website Forces Pen Pals. He replied my brave forum message on Remembrance Day (11/11) on PTSD – topic Guilt and Shame. His story follows here with his agreement, of course:)

I have seen a counselor (talking therapy), then also had CBT, and also sports psychologist based on CBT. They have been helpful. I learnt some skills. Although I still didn’t find it all as effective. I did change but I still would struggle. I would read and watch videos etc myself, a lot. I am talking for a period of about 4yrs. I had about 40hrs of counselling from specialists. Still the biggest change and hit came only resent when I started to understand more of what I actually can do with my emotions. I connected the dots. For some reason no one could explain me in detail such things. Nothing new. And not that I never had heard of it.. Basically, it was allowing my shame to be shame and not suppress it. Kinda weird. But it had a profound effect on my anxiety.

My PTSD is not mission related. I haven’t been on any, yet. I am a reservist. I had(have?) early childhood PTSD. It went uncovered until recent years. I went through depression and low moods for years. To top that off my flatmate a couple years ago became alcoholic and his behaviour hit me very hard. That’s when I reached out because it was not going anywhere. Now that I am well recovered I have gained a personality that I couldn’t quite have all my life because I was only a 3-4yr old when that embrace and growth was taken away of me.


No, No, I didn’t run… I… FLEW.

You know, regarding the shame. There is loads on it out there but not a lot that’s written sensibly. And advice is not always very helpful at all. It’s the emotion that keeps us down for a while after we have done something wrong so that we wouldn’t be kicked out from our social group so we can reflect on ourselves. Well, that’s good until we get stuck in shame and it doesn’t stop, and we get shamed by somebody who doesn’t know any better. So, when I see myself struggling or doing some bad(perhaps even nothing to do with me but somehow I attributed it to me) I would feel shame and embarrassment for not controlling it, allowing it to happen etc. It would just eat me away.


You are! Right now. You, You! You.

Normally (whatever that means), shame is a useful emotion because it does help us evaluate ourselves. Too much and too often of it breaks us. I think with the servicemen it’s the intensity of the trauma, the time spent with the trauma, (toxic?) masculine/stoic environment, and poor emotional coping skills. They can’t just withdraw from their circumstances. However and apparently, servicemen are not more likely to suffer with mental health than civvies… A research done in British Armed Forces. I suppose the intensity is greater, like I mentioned. So it might down to the individual’s skill set that allows somebody to shake the bad off or succumb. Is coming back from a war into an environment that treats one with a contempt might be a factor too. I think you yourself can testify that civvies can suffer and do suffer of horrendous effects of trauma. Yes, very much early childhood experience and parenting.

If we had come out strong and thoughtful and not just recovered by a chance. That’s how I would see living with emotions. I think the social paradigm doesn’t prepare us emotionally intelligent. We rather vaguely understand how what works and the manipulate each other to achieve some outcome. We really are habitual manipulators. We don’t recognize our emotions. That’s how we grow up. I was a wretch 🙂 I still was a good guy, keen, smart outwardly but my internal drives were nothing but screwed. It wasn’t all bad, of course. But I was running and I was bound to crash, and there was no safety net for me.. When I went to kindergarten the staff there were very shouty, angry, so for the little 3-4yr old it was a terror. It’s like what adults get in the military, that’s what I had then. It set the course for my life. 

Antonella Barberini
PTSD Beautiful Trauma
Web Editor, IPF Agent and Author

Guilt and Shame

Check out my beautiful art work on taboo topics like such.

Mystic Signs: Dawn of New Life?


Before sharing next article, with courtesy of The Mystic.org,  I want to tell you of  a strange thing that happened to me, when I almost turned into madness, before my sick leave was due.

One afternoon, I was walking on the sidewalk, to the supermarket, when I found this watercolor on the hedge. Middle of nowhere. A long hair woman walking on the beach with a long summer dress, a hat on her hand, and a shell on her ear, her eyes closed. My Italian sister is quite a believer, and she told me that a shell in christian symbolism means “listen”.

Well, me too, I was in the middle of nowhere, playing the hamster wheel in my job, unhealthy relationships, far from my true, higher Self. No purpose at all. At the same time, feathers came on my way. Any kind of feathers, just anywhere …. and I did a research, to debunk the code of what was the meaning behind it. Have a guess. Well, what the fuck is this reality? Is it a joke? Lila, as indians say, the “big Game”.

Where do these signs come from? Which level of vibration? Is My Counsciousness trying to tell me there is more than what we think? What I think….

Isn’t being anxious a strong demand of deep faith? Are we not asking to the Great, Invisible Mystery to manifest in our life just to comfort us, and show us that this spiritual and physical pain is useful, somehow?

For the end of the story, at that present moment I didn’t have my smart phone yet, and no chance to take a picture of that watercolor, that I didn’t want to touch, as if it was sacred. Then, when I came back, from my shopping, the painting was gone.


Here in this dark night, the lifelong ego sense dies: impotent. Having fulfilled its part, now weak and incompetent, it is dissolved — transmuted. From a higher sense now awakening within you, you slough off your false sense of self. You now know yourself to be a different person than you thought you were. Your ego was merely experiencing some of the attributes, some of the qualities, of your true nature, while at the same time obstructing others.

You, in passing successfully through the dark night, enter the realms of higher consciousness. You’ve been cleansed of the most deep-rooted sickness: your ignorance of your true nature and your inadequate, often totally wrong opinion of who you are. You now cease your inner conflict and abide serenely in your true nature. The night is over. The dawn of a new life in higher consciousness transforms your bleak life of the past few months into one with a heavenly nature. You have been delivered of the intolerable bondage to ego.

Henceforth, you will walk the earth seeing others afresh, living a new life, and abiding in your true nature. You have become a son or daughter of higher consciousness. Now your words and actions will be attuned with your true self. Now you express inspiration and comfort.

The dark night has passed. It is over.

What must the caterpillar do that it may one day fly?

The Dark Night of the Soul. Feat. Trevor Ilesley.


While recovering from PTSD, I went through different coaching videos on YouTube. This is one of those who really impressed me. Well, I love his dark soul style.

The dark night of the soul, for the short story, comes from a poem of 1600 spanish pilgrim written by Saint John of the Cross. It refers to a mystical and spiritual journey of psychological growth and soul awakening.

Something is wrong with you, or you feel like that, like you are wrong and anybody else is right. And you have to fit the box but you can’t, and you won’t, by your choice, because you start to take responsability of who you really are. You give birth to your true Self.

So, usually the dark night of the soul is when you feel depressed or anything in your life is not going the way you would like. What’s the meaning of your life, and so on.

If you, too,  become mad about the Dark Night of the Soul, I might recommend to listen to Loreena McKennith . Beautiful, and inspiring.

Here is Trevor. Bless you.