Self Care give away: how to dye you gray hair with Henna.

This is a Xmas Miracle on the boulevard.

I have been dying my hair all my life from 14. And now when I look back I think I was stupid cos my brown hair was beautiful and natural. Today hair coloring is quite usual, but I perhaps abused of chemicals so much that I went through allergies and had to stop dying.

When one of my exs told me that there are natural plants which can do it I didn’t listen and especially, I wanted to take responsability for my gray hair and my age getting older.

Oh, look at all those grey haired and charming Parisian ladies… yup, I am not Parisian!

During my stressful period I lost hair in my forehead, and started to use castor oil to strenghten them. My marocco jobmate is very good at self care and pampering, so I gave it a try and fell in love.

Now I use coconut oil and castor oil once a week for hair mask and twice a month I enjoy doing my henna. Hair is thicker and healthy. No secondary effects except beautiful dark chocolate color.

Well, procedure is quite long. But it’s made for those people like me who like to take their time for self care and be calm. If you don’t have problems with chemicals, never mind, you can do like you usually do. The henna and katam are far cheaper and I like the smell of plants on my hair.

3 hours henna + 2 hours katam

Before I thought that henna was only for red and orange hair. This lady has made all the difference…

Emotional Trigger: how to go through it.


Courtesy of

“Let shame be shame” (Andreas, Navy led reserve, sport coach from London)

Dolphins are connected with the power of breath and with emotional release, which are also both deeply connected. One of the most important factors in spiritual growth is to give ourselves the freedom of full experiencing our feelings and emotions. Often negative emotions are suppressed as we don’t want to be a part of them, so we try to stay apart from them. Feelings of sadness, pain, anger, grief. We need to stop doing this, as this only lays the foundation for disagreeable outcomes. We need to feel our feelings, by suppressing these feelings, of course they DO NOT go away. They are still there, subconsciously, manifesting blocked energy with-in, and if these blocks aren’t removed, this can go on to physical imbalances, with-out. On top of this, by blocking these so called negative feelings, this can result in losing the quality of being able to feel at all, losing much of life’s joy. Becoming dead to the world.


Courtesy of

Message from Whale. Recognize that you are the creator of your life. Clear your consciousness from negative energy, from conversations, experiences, and your own internal dialogue. Release emotionally charged thoughts. Water assists in regaining emotional balance.


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According to Shepard (1979), selfacceptance is an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with oneself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Selfacceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Just like the Robin, the giraffe spirit animal symbolizes selfacceptance and selflove. The giraffe is proud of its appearance and knows that it is truly unique in the world. You should be like the giraffe and be proud of your beauty. … Your giraffe totem has its long and graceful neck as its most prominent feature.

Burnout : What is this?


When I was attending this training about “stress management”, it was 2013- 2014 and I was completely unaware of what was going on in my life. Well, I was the hamster running in the wheel. It simply was the ordinary life and I was following the pattern: could I do any better? NOPE.

I am okay, I will never go down there.

Except, once back from my doctor, in september 2016, who saved me and changed my life forever, with a sick leave for sleep burn out, that was the wake up call.

And now? what will I do from now on? Shall I go back to work in one week and acting like it was never happened? will they put pressure on me cos I have been sick, and messing with planning schedules and work load? what my parents will say about it? what they would say if they were here? ( and hopefully they weren’t )


Yup, I didn’t return to work so soon. I finally took time to understand what was happening and the reasons why. Yes, I took time for my Self for the very first time, in my 45, consciously. And it made all the difference.



Hotel and Flight Assistants, Doctors and Medical Care staff or Policemen, Servicemen and Firefighters are the first victims: you have to bury your ANXIETY and reassure others and get the job done.

Of course, your social life is a bonus. And today it’s commonly very poor or shallow. It’s not a clue that relationships and family lives are challenged by inhuman schedules and social pressure. It’s not society the problem, it’s more business and financial entanglement that asks to commerce and services to stay UP 24/7.

The company I am working for is open 365 days a year. It closed just once, due to a terrific thunderstorm, and second time, for terrorist attacks in 2015.

What the hell is the Dark Night?

Thank’s to all the You Tubers who are influencing my self discovery about psychological depth and motivational videos like these from Trevor Isley and the Holistic Psychologist.


Parisian Sparks of Inspiration.

It goes without saying, during my Journey, the assistance of Firefighters has been effective several times: anxiety, panic attacks and terror attacks. Once my Self Help book will be done, and translated (2020 is near), 10 per cent of my revenue will go to these guys and their families.



This book was suggested me by a Serviceman who is using this manual as program for Mind Management of his troops. Dr Steve Peters is a psychiatrist who has inspired Elite sport Gold Medal Champions like Victoria Pendleton and Liverpool Football Team in the UK. Personally, I was aware of Self Sabotage because of my inner wisdom led me to observe my self behaviour and noticed that I was doing that any time I was close to Success (school examens, sport achievement, any potential partner who reciprocated, job team talent… ). The avanguardist Prof is now telling us that it’s our brain who is dysfunctional and that’s okay. All we need is to become a Master of our Mind. As simple as that. Which probably guides us to Mindfulness alias Mind at its full Potential.


This man, the humanitarian Journalist, made a difference to me. At the time I met his book, I had read only one article which listed all PTSD and refered to combat stress. Revelation when I found his Vanity fair interview about his panic attack in New York back home from Afghanistan. Well, I respect his journalist activity, despite all the crap and slave journalism spreading today. His values about this alienated society where Vétérans miss war are deeply shared.

Sometimes we ask ourselves if we can save Veterans, but the real question is can we save ourselves?


Simply life-changing. Effective. Oh, well I couldn’t finish last pages, but eventually the first ten had already done the job. For the short story, I have kept reading it in the metro, one day at a time, one page at a time. You need to integrate concepts and this is a good exercise for those who Don’t read a book since ages. Tolle will explain you that. My fave quote : ‘We are not our thoughts.’ So what are we? Bestseller.


In 2016, during my deep rest, home from work, due to sleep burnout, as a consequence of PTSD and long term stress disorder, I borrowed this book from my mentor / my physician. He is a humanitarian Medecin sans Frontières and charming Monsieur who changed my life for the better. My soul is eternally grateful. And yes, Doctor, ladies who read are quite Dangerous.


Tom King is not only the Batman’s author, but also ex FBI agent in the Middle East. He conceived this Masterpiece to spread awareness on PTSD in 2018. He is one of my heroes. Enjoy the graphic. Story: Sanctuarium is the first rehab for superheros, where some mystery occurs. Harley Quinn is perhaps the rebel heroin who is not recovering well. When I found his work I thought “the times they are a changing”.


To be honest, I bought this book years ago, and couldn’t relate to it in the very beginning. Then, one day, I tried again, and I admit, it gave me some effective inspiration for my self help book. So, Carol, bless you. It wasn’t easy. First, try to figure out what an archetype is, then embrace your hero’s journey. Good luck.


When I was in it, I could only see the dark, and it’ been a long ride. Now in my mind all is clear. Personal growth requires challenges. No slight, no hero. Right? I liked this ex monk psychologist who humbly change perspective on so called depression and transition stages in life beyond labels. Rites of passage are much more speaking to me. To make it short, you need to prove your value in a Society, in order to gain your status in a Community. Primitive and ancient tribes did it all the time. We lost our roots and therefore we lost our consciousness that a dark night will make come out the best from you and put it at service of others. That’s what life is all about. This is how humanity shall work.

Conversations with God

Well, I admit that I watched the movie several times and can’t stop spreading word about it, especially to whom are diving deep in the abyss of a dark night. Perhaps a dialogue within your Self. Or accept that there is a force – much bigger than us – guiding you if you let her manifesting.

Guided Mindfulness Meditation.

A Complete Guided Mindfulness Meditation Program from Jon Kabat-Zinn Audio CD.

Each book is linked to

If you make a purchase Amazon will provide Parisian Sparkle with an itsy-bitsy royalty. 

My Story

Vous parlez anglais?

 In the aftermath of terror attacks, in Paris 2015, I knew panic and fear at workplace and PTSD soon started with insomnia, poor emotional intelligence, inability to put words on my own feelings, anxiety and fear of going crazy, exhaustion and chronique fatigue disease, after sleep burn out, tremors (mouth, legs, hands), tachycardia, and short memory loss, just to mention a few. Others symptoms you can’t just describe, like a sort of electrochemical pinching in your veins, especially in legs, or warmth flames in the back, which give you the right sense of burning from the inside out. After 6 months after terror attacks ( from january to june ), I got completely unbalanced, both emotionally, and physically, put on weight, panic attacks, anger outbursts, no way to do my job anymore, like dealing with typical visitors problem solving ( e.g. can’t stand people crying for a lost baggage, or a fully booked restaurant anymore, “damn stop it, please” ). Any yelling, for any reasons, and self defense goes on freeze, fly or fight. Why do people need to shout?

Artist’s Man in Latin Quartier.


In february 2016, I was diagnosed definitely inadequate to my position. Until 19th september 2019, when I signed up for a long term deal in the present service for the same Company in which I broke down medically stated on 14th september 2016, after temporary therapeutic part time and several short term missions. Of course, you have to consider a deep cleaning of your personal life, as well as a full transformation of your jobcareer and lifestyle. You can’t figure out coping with PTSD and holding on the same life schedule than before trauma. It involves stop overthinking, letting go, and modulating negative emotional responses compared with the healthy controls.

Antonella Barberini
PTSD Beautiful Trauma
Web Editor, Dreamer and Author

New Beginning.

If you want to know more About Me and My Sense of Purpose, please, follow here.

New York – Paris: same PTSD?

Sign language.

Bonsoir New York, Ciao America.

Since a couple of years I am personally engaging with spreading PTSD awareness, in the aftermath of Paris attacks (january and november 2015). In a certain way, 11/13 was our 9/11. Thou my personal one didn’t show up in the news, cos of cover up (not saying it all here, blaming it’s not my purpose, really).

In my case, I lost my job, and health, in next 6 months, with anxiety, and panic attacks, avoiding, hypervigilance, tachycardia, tremors, sleep burn out and emotional break down. Yes, I was a mess, but very few people could see that it was happening. Definitely, I have been very lucky and reached out for good help from the best professionals I could find on my way. Not all the people I know, who were close to what I lived had the same journey. Most of us who shared the same “circumstances” had to change their lives and take our health in charge, both physical and mental. Stress can manifest in your body years later. Yes, I also went through surgery at my stomach due to stress two years later. Today I am finally getting a steady position at a new service. And I am a totally transforming in a New Person. You can check my page About Me. It’s not only physical, of course. But mostly mental, Mindset and Consciousness.


Where was I in 2001? At work, in Italy, in a software house, as assistant and front office. My first dramatic reaction concerned symbolic meaning, that was the very first time that US were under threat and touched directly at home. Beacause we are humans, my second thought went to my date, I had a plan with my future boyfriend, who also worked with me, as software developer technicien, and he declined our pizza date for that evening. I felt quite upset lol

Whilst the twin towers were melting and falling, my hopes and dreams of a brilliant future in couple were also fading away.

Nervertheless, tonight I take the opportunity to send a message in a bottle to America: you have been through traumatic events so far, rampage shootings and terror attacks, from Bernardino and many others, you are celebrating 20 years soon, from that 9/11, if people, unlike me (this time), went through medical treatments they might go through a sort of “awakening” right in these days. Be prepared. It might be an explosive cataclysm of your Soul.

Keep it up.

Antonella Barberini
PTSD Beautiful Trauma
Web Editor, Dreamer and Author

** Please, be aware of triggers **

Wounded Healer. What’s that? Are you?

Wounded healer is a term created by psychologist Carl Jung. The idea states that an analyst is compelled to treat patients because the analyst himself is “wounded“. The idea may have Greek mythology origins.

Who is Jonathan Foust?

I dunno, but he sounds amazing on his podcats.

When I felt lost in confusion, I asked myself “What am I supposed to do?” I didn’t know how to react. But the question is “How do you react to this world of suffering?” First, accept that stress, suffering and dissatisfaction are part of our human experience. Perhaps there is a way not to react, but to positively respond.

Chiron from 2010-2019

  • Challenged all religions – cutting their progress and power.
  • Made us switch from me to we.
  • Forced us to deal with our raging emotions and our self-destructing mood swings.

Chiron in Aries (2019 – 2027)

This is a particularly challenging position for Chiron, threatening world peace. This new position of the Wounded Healer has so many things to say. He will stay there until April, 2027.

We switch again from we to me. And we should take full responsibility of our actions.

It’s not easy to get through this time without being aware of what we do and the impact of our actions. Karmically speaking, this new position will probably bring wars and protests like we’ve never seen before.

But through all this violence, suffering and cruelty, we will finally learn that Love is the Key.

Chiron was an educator ( today’s coach/mentorship), and he was especially good with boys. He taught them the skills they needed to become men: medicine, music, archery, hunting, and prophecy. And although he was married, his love of his young male students surfaces in many stories, his attachment to Dionysus, for example.

Yoga warriors.


Tonight, I found this wonderful project by US Army Veteran, Jeffrey Sargent, Warriors at Ease, which promotes yoga and meditation as tools to recover from PTSD and anxiety disorders. Of course, this is meant to support the health and well-being of Veterans, Service Members and their families, but his example confirms my theory on how much relevant have been these practices, also in my case, since I am struggling with stress disorders and recovering from trauma. Actually, I am getting on pretty much better. My nervous system is releasing “fight and flight” process, slowly but surely. Thank’s to regular hatha yoga practice, mindfulness, healthy diet and sleep habits. And definitely no pills. This is huge. With much love.