Dark Night of the Soul. The light in the end of the tunnel?

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. – Khalil Gibran

At some point, most of us go through a phenomenon known as the Dark Night of the Soul.

Courtesy of Lonerwolf.com

Although we try to run from it, it is still there. Although we try to cover it up and smother it, it is still there. Although we try to put on a happy, smiley face and pretend it away, it’s still there.

While some of us seek reprieve in religious thought, others of us seek respite in spiritual philosophy or psychology, and still, others seek relief through addiction and mind-numbing external pursuits.

The truth is that although we are all born with Souls, not all of us know how to fully embody and integrate them into our human experience. The truth is that in our modern world, we live ego-centrically rather than Soul-centrically.

Mystics, saints, and shamans throughout history have all referred to this ego-centric human struggle in different ways. But the one thing they all had in common was their tendency to point to the need for us to consciously grow into our Divine potential.

One of these people was Saint John of the Cross, a Spanish monk who coined the term “Dark Night of the Soul” (“Noche Oscura” the name of one of his poems) based on his own mystical experience.

These days, the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul has come to be used in a much broader way. What was once a term reserved for people actively going through a Spiritual Journey, has now come to easily label anything ranging from a few bad days and a period of depression to the death of a loved one.

Antonella Barberini, art project “5 steps to cope with PTSD and smash it” (2019)

But what really is the Dark Night of the Soul?

The Dark Night of the Soul is a period of utter spiritual desolation, disconnection, and emptiness in which one feels totally separated from the Divine. Those who experience the Dark Night feel completely lost, hopeless, and consumed with melancholy. The Dark Night of the Soul can be likened to severe spiritual depression (it’s a type of spiritual emergency.)

The concept of having a Dark Night of the Soul has existed for a long time, and spans back to the 16th century when poet and Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem entitled, “La noche oscura del alma (The Dark Night of the Soul).”

Wrote Saint John:

If a man wishes to be sure of the road he’s traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.

Traditionally, the Dark Night of the Soul refers to the experience of losing touch with God/Creator and being plunged into the abyss of godless emptiness. The modern understanding of having a Dark Night of the Soul, however, is not exclusively a religious one, but can often mean losing all meaning in life, feeling out-of-touch with the Divine, feeling betrayed or forsaken by Life, and having no solid or stable ground to stand on.

Some of the heaviest questions we ask during this period include for example, “Why am I alive?” “Why do good people suffer?” “What is truth?” “Is there a god or afterlife?” and “What is the point of living?”

Dark Night and Depression – Is it the Same Thing?

The Dark Night of the Soul is not the same as depression.

Although depression shares many of its characteristics with the experience of having a Dark Night of the Soul, it can often be treated and sometimes cured with medications, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, lifestyle changes, and so forth.

Furthermore, depression often has its roots in biological chemical imbalances and/or unhealthy thought patterns, and often comes as a result of personal loss, mental illness, physical illness, abuse, genetics, and so on.

On the other hand, having a Dark Night of the Soul is a much different experience because it is primarily a spiritual and existential form of crises that can’t be treated or cured with therapy or psychiatry. Therefore, those of us going through the Dark Night often feel an increasing sense of hopelessness, unease, and despair as we discover that no one can save us but ourselves. Inevitably, this makes us feel even more alone, frustrated and confused about the world and about ourselves.

I am intensely aware of what it is like to experience complete psychological and spiritual desolation and although the feeling seems endless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you just know where to look.

I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses. – Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Spiritual Transformation.

After all, the symptoms of the Dark Night of the Soul are not that different from depression. But while depression is psychological/neurological/biological, the Dark Night heralds deep-seated changes occurring within us known as spiritual transformation.

You crave for the loss of something intangible; a longing for a distant place or to “return home” again

What is my purpose?

The ultimate difference between depression and the Dark Night of the Soul is that depression is usually self-centric, whereas the Dark Night is philosophical in nature and is accompanied by existential reflections such as “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose?”

Also, when depression ends, not much changes in your life in terms of your beliefs, values, and habits. However, when the Dark Night of the Soul ends, everything in your life is transformed, and life becomes wondrous again.

Wilde’s Burial in Paris.

My desire to live is as intense as ever, and though my heart is broken, hearts are made to be broken: that is why God sends sorrow into the world … To me, suffering seems now a sacramental thing, that makes those whom it touches holy … any materialism in life coarsens the soul. – Oscar Wilde “Letters

Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski once coined a term Positive disintegration which views tension and anxiety as necessary in the process of spiritual and psychological maturing. In other words, it is the friction within us that causes the mirror of our Souls to be polished enough for us to glimpse our True Nature.

I often hear people speak of the Dark Night as some kind problem they have to “fix,” or something they “went through a long time ago, that is now over, thank God.” But what these people thought was a Dark Night may have just been a glimpse of the darkness within them, especially when they speak egotistically about it as if it were a badge of honor.

A true Dark Night of the Soul leaves a long-lasting impact on you – it changes you completely. When you exit a Dark Night, you will discover that something is always taken away from you (for the better), such as your beliefs, your perceptions, your former meaning in life, or even in rare cases, your ego.

The metaphysician Ananda Coomaraswamy put it this way:

No creature can attain a higher grade of nature without ceasing to exist.

Have you ever seen a butterfly begin to emerge from its cocoon? It must struggle in order to strengthen its wings. If someone frees the butterfly from its cocoon prematurely, it won’t be able to fly because its crucial tempering stage will not have occurred.

The same is true for trees. Trees need wind in order to build their structural strength to stay upright.

Your Dark Night of the Soul is your wind, your cocoon; it is an ego death whereby you shed the ego that prevents you from embodying your Soul.

What is the Point of Living?

If you try to avoid the hard work of, as Ananda put it, “ceasing to exist,” or breaking down your old confining structures, you won’t have what it takes to truly embody your essential nature.

Before any true growth or healing can occur, there must be a process of destruction and complete annihilation of everything you thought would bring you happiness.

Most people experiencing Dark Nights realize this: that nothing makes them happy anymore; not bodily, not sexual, not emotional, not material, not political, not social, not even spiritual. And this is the start of the purification process.

Conditioning vs. reality …

Since birth you have been conditioned to believe that money will make you happy, a sexy/rich partner will make you happy, a high IQ will make you happy, a big house will make you happy, a thriving career will make you happy, a perfect life will make you happy.

But this is all a lie because whenever you pursue happiness, you are immediately losing touch with the fact that happiness is already here, right now, in this very second, without you having to do anything or question anything. Happiness IS.

This sounds like the most ridiculous thing you might have ever heard, and yet deep down you might sense the truth in it. If this is the case the first layer of your illusion has been peeled away; what a blessing!

A blessing in disguise …

In reality, it is absolutely terrifying to have the ground beneath your feet ripped out from beneath you, and this is precisely what we experience during the Dark Night of the Soul.

And yet, this experience is the greatest teacher of all to us because it illuminates what is fragile, transient, and subject to change, growth, and decay. We are subsequently left with a feeling of great inner emptiness, but within this emptiness, we eventually come to see what can never come, go, change or die, and that is the truth of who we are: pure, peaceful, and blissful conscious essence.

The mind is always frantically searching …

The mind is a product of our evolutionary development: it protects us and structures our existence, and through it, we can experience the beauty of life. But in order to truly come to any closure during our Dark Nights we must understand that the mind is limited, narrow and finite – and therefore so is our reasoning.

Why must there be a “point” to living other than the experience of being alive in all of its fascinating and shocking diversity? Why must we “pursue” or “find” something rather than simply experiencing each moment fully and completely in the simplicity of Being?

That is why I say that happiness isn’t this or that, happiness IS. What exactly are we seeking when we want to answer the question, “What is the point of living”? We want a satisfactory answer that will appeal to the mind and “GIVE” us happiness.

But happiness can’t be given because happiness IS. This might all sound like fancy rhetoric, but I recommend that you let it sink in and really look into it more. For me it took years, but these six questions helped to solidify the understanding that happiness and fulfillment are already here, now. Please read them to continue your journey.

The Dark Night and The Spiritual Awakening Process.

As humans, the prospect of change is avoided and resisted because it is unknown territory. Therefore, we fear it. For this reason, we require a Spiritual Awakening.

There are three ways that Spiritual Awakenings can occur:

the first is at the hands of wise spiritual teachers, the second is through the spiritual drive of soulfully mature people, and the third is spontaneously due to life experience.

Spontaneous awakenings arrive in a number of ways: a terminal diagnosis, old age, a near-death experience, a physical accident, the loss of a loved one, a romantic breakup, the destruction of your home or homeland, suicidal depression, or the complete loss of your religious faith.

The Dark Night is a herald, an omen, of change. It lets us know that we can’t continue living the way we have been living. There is no growth, no awakening in life, to life, without first seeing and acknowledging our existing disappointment.

Acknowledging our disappointment means becoming aware of the deeply held sense of “incompletion” that we all carry; it means becoming aware that something is desperately missing from our lives. Those that have experienced, or are currently experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul will know that something very fundamental at a core level is out of focus or completely lacking in their lives. Those going through a Dark Night will sense that so much more is possible in their lives, even though they don’t exactly know what that “so much more” is.

Paradise lost and found …

One of the common reasons why Dark Nights occur and are prolonged is due to mystical experiences, or short glimpses of the divine, which spiritual teachers often refer to as “grace” or samādhi. Soon afterward, the person “loses” this experience, and is plunged into unhappiness again. This is called the “halo effect,” “afterglow” or what the Sufis speak of as the “sobriety of union.”

Why does the “halo effect” happen? It happens because of the stark contrast between one’s rediscovered Divine Self and the return to one’s disconnected and tormented Ego self. To the spiritually mature person, the halo effect sets the stage for a future encounter with the transcendental, with God.

However, for the less prepared seeker, the glimpse into the Divine stirs up even more distress as old habits, obsessions, thoughts, and behaviors reappear. Now, such a person realizes that he has a long, complex, and demanding task of purification and transformation ahead of him.

In Spiritual Alchemy, there is a word for this experience called solutio; putting all the hard stuff in the waters of reflection (your ideas, your habits, etc.), where it dissolves and breaks apart, shows itself for what it is, and gives you the opportunity for a fresh start.

Find freedom through purging …

The solution to one’s suffering and disconnection from the divine realm can be any method of cutting away, dislodging, disintegrating and clearing old pieces of your life so that you can begin afresh.

Essentially, the Dark night is a process of shedding away your old home and going in search of a new one. Understandably, this process requires a huge leap of faith into the unknown which can come at quite a sudden and frightening pace.

If you think you might be going through this journey, it’s important to understand that many of us have been where you are. Many people still are. There is no map, there is only the flickering luminescence of your Soul to light the way.

I hope our work can encourage, embolden and support you if you are undertaking this descent into your Underworld.


While every experience of the Dark Night of the Soul is different, the one common thread is that it is a path of initiation. You are in the dark so that you can understand what Light is. You are disconnected so that you can know what connection is. You are lost so that you can find your way back Home. If these explanations of the Dark Night don’t resonate with you, please go ahead and discard of them. I’m not here to tell you what the Dark Night of the Soul should mean because ultimately you must figure that out for yourself. You need to be the one to make meaning out of your experience. I can only offer my own understanding.

If you have read up until this point you are probably looking for additional help, and that is completely understandable. However, the Dark Night of the Soul is a complex and profound experience and it cannot be solved by reading a “six-step” formula or bullet list. What I can offer you, however, is a simple meditation which may provide you with some level of relief.

DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL MEDITATION.

When you can dredge up enough energy (I know how exhausting and depleting the Dark Night can be), try experimenting with the following Dark Night of the Soul meditation:

Find a quiet and undisturbed place. If you like, play some celestial or ethereal music in the background to set the mood. Lie down and close your eyes. For a minute or two focus on your breath. Feel your chest rise and fall. Once you feel connected with your body, shift your focus to creating an image of yourself walking through a dark forest. Imagine that you are looking above to see the dark tangled branches of the forest obscure the sky. What does the forest feel like? Is it cold, hot, balmy, humid or icy? Can you smell, feel or taste anything?

As you keep walking through the dark forest, the path in front of you seems endless. The atmosphere feels deathly and melancholic. Suddenly, a white wolf emerges from the trees. It looks at you with intelligent and kind eyes and begins to accompany you as you walk. Your feeling of loneliness lifts slightly as you enjoy the company of your animal friend. Suddenly, the wolf beside you stops and stares intensely into the dark trees ahead of you. You peer ahead but cannot see anything but dark shadows. Suddenly, your wolf companion lifts up his head and lets out a loud and haunting wolf call.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Just after the wolf stops howling, a white light slowly emerges from deep within the forest. At first, the light is tiny and like a pinprick. But as you walk towards it, the light becomes bigger and brighter. A feeling of hope begins to fill you. Tentatively, you start jogging towards the light. You notice that the faster you run, the bigger the light gets. The closer you move to the light, the more open and expansive you feel. You pick up your pace. The feeling is exhilarating! Far behind you, the white wolf howls again. A feeling of wildness and freedom starts to warm you from the inside out. As you continue running, the light begins to consume your vision. The dark forest begins to quickly fade. As you look down, you notice that your legs are the legs of a wolf – without knowing it, you have experienced a total transformation – and it is liberating! Picking up your pace, you keep running and you let out a loud howl. The piercing sound of the howl dissolves all hopelessness, sadness, and darkness left within you. The howl has completely purified you. All that remains is pure light, love, hope, power, and peace. You feel spacious and open. You are free!

Enjoy the feeling of freedom for as long as you wish. When you are ready, wiggle your fingers and toes and return back to the room. You may like to journal about your experience.

Feel free to record this visualization, get someone to read it out to you gently, or change the meditation to your own liking. It has been created to ultimately benefit you. 

***

To end this article, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Dark Night of the Soul quotes by David Whyte – a man who understood the value of making peace with the darkness:

…Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

– “Sweet Darkness” by David Whyte

QUOTES

YOUR FAITH IS YOUR FORTUNE.

„Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.“

— Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune ( 1941 )

Summer 2013

“When your reputation is broken, then you are set free”

an old german saying

WHITE ROOM ( 1965 )

This song is for a friend departed too fast and too soon. Psychedelic state of the mind. He was a dark angel. And he touched my life. He drank too much, he burnt too much and his back pain led him abusing of painkillers. Sure he was depressive, but aren’t we all here when the night is that dark and seem not to end anymore?

Ciao, Bello. Remember me in the fields of gold.

I’ll wait in this place where the sun never shines
Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves

You said no strings could secure you at the station
Platform ticket, restless diesels, goodbye windows

I walked into such a sad time at the station
As I walked out, felt my own need just beginning

I’ll wait in the queue when the trains come back Lie with you where the shadows run from themselves

Paris, Pigalle.

Dark Night : Bipolar is not a medical condition.

Dawn in Férrières-en-Brie, November 2019.

This is an incredible find who I have been listening all nights long, during my Journey from the Caterpillar to Cocoon stages.

Whilst you can find all Butterfly process in his channel, one of my milestone is gaining a different understanding and perspective on this bipolar medical condition.

Have been bipolar in my youth, until I mastered my swing moods, with plants, and flowers, and walking, yoga and mindfulness. Please, I am not here telling you to drop your pills, and say to you that we can do it without medicins and psychiatrist.

Winter 2012

My message here is YOU ARE THE ONE who can really understand what is going on in your mind and add plus value (natural, holistic or spiritual) to your life.

STORY TIME.

 For the story time, my neighbor went mad one night, in january 2015, while I was struggling with my anxiety, and couldn’t sleep already. He tried to kill her wife for the second time. He also tried to beat a policeman (who was wounded on his head falling in the fight and tapping to a table’s angle), who came at 1 am in the house apart on same flat. The day after, after a sleepless night, I was told from his wife, his story: 25 years medicines plus “smoking” and drinking. So, what would you expect? Complete healing? Bliss? Genius?  

Antonella Barberini
PTSD Beautiful Trauma
Web Editor, IPF Angel and Author

Conversations with God.

This is a perfect example of what a dark night of the soul means. And I wish Neale Donald Walsh will be back to Paris, to attend his conference, at least once.

What’s burn out?

Dolores O’Riordan struggle with burn out/break down. Died age 46.

The Cranberries star Dolores O’Riordan has previously opened up about her battles with depression and the breakdown of the band. The Irish star has ‘died suddenly’ at the age of just 46, according to reports. But she overcame a lot during her life, including battles with depression. Dolores went through a tough time after the deaths of her father and mother-in-law. She once said: “There have been times when I’ve struggled. The death of my father and mother-in-law was very hard. Looking back, I think depression, whatever the cause, is one of the worst things to go through. Then again, I’ve also had a lot of joy in my life, especially with my children. You get ups as well as downs. Sure isn’t that what life’s all about?”

The band faced troubles too. Their first album, Everybody Else Is Doing It, in 1993 brought about massive success, but by their third, they were running out of steam. She added to Irish News : “Maybe if we’d taken a break, who knows, it might’ve helped. But we were so green when we started out. We signed up for a two-year straight contract without knowing how hard it’d be. We were working all the time and in the end, I was burned out.” The band came to a halt in 2003, before later coming back for a reunion tour in 2009.

She added: “It’s not good to be working constantly. Everybody needs to find balance in life. I’d advise anyone starting out to take their time, think about what they’re doing. Don’t over commit, only take on a few months at a time. See how it goes.” Back in 2016, Dolores was fined for head-butting and spitting at a police officer in an alleged air rage incident. She had pleaded guilty after being arrested at Shannon Airport in November 2014 following a disturbance on a flight. Dolores, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after the incident, was fined €6,000 (£4,690) but avoided a criminal conviction. She admitted four offences, including three assaults and obstructing a garda after being taken off an Aer Lingus flight from New York’s JFK airport.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/dolores-oriordans-struggles-depression-how-11856717

Wounded Healer. What’s that? Are you?

Wounded healer is a term created by psychologist Carl Jung. The idea states that an analyst is compelled to treat patients because the analyst himself is “wounded“. The idea may have Greek mythology origins.

Who is Jonathan Foust?

I dunno, but he sounds amazing on his podcats.

When I felt lost in confusion, I asked myself “What am I supposed to do?” I didn’t know how to react. But the question is “How do you react to this world of suffering?” First, accept that stress, suffering and dissatisfaction are part of our human experience. Perhaps there is a way not to react, but to positively respond.

Chiron from 2010-2019

  • Challenged all religions – cutting their progress and power.
  • Made us switch from me to we.
  • Forced us to deal with our raging emotions and our self-destructing mood swings.

Chiron in Aries (2019 – 2027)

This is a particularly challenging position for Chiron, threatening world peace. This new position of the Wounded Healer has so many things to say. He will stay there until April, 2027.

We switch again from we to me. And we should take full responsibility of our actions.

It’s not easy to get through this time without being aware of what we do and the impact of our actions. Karmically speaking, this new position will probably bring wars and protests like we’ve never seen before.

But through all this violence, suffering and cruelty, we will finally learn that Love is the Key.

Chiron was an educator ( today’s coach/mentorship), and he was especially good with boys. He taught them the skills they needed to become men: medicine, music, archery, hunting, and prophecy. And although he was married, his love of his young male students surfaces in many stories, his attachment to Dionysus, for example.

Terror victims study proves our resilience.

Floral tributes outside the Bataclan Theatre in memory of the victims of the Paris attacks1

Floral tributes outside the Bataclan Theatre in memory of the victims of the Paris attacks

Patricia Casey

On Friday, November 13 2015, a series of terror attacks erupted in Paris. They were mercilessly launched on people gathered at various social outlets and events in order to maximise the carnage. A football match was the first target in this co-ordinated killing spree. This was followed by shootings at restaurants and cafes and finally a metal concert in the Bataclan Theatre. Hostages were taken there also. A total of 130 lost their lives and over 4,000 were injured, almost 100 seriously. These were the most serious attacks on the city since WWII. Isis claimed responsibility.

It is no surprise that the impact of these attacks on the psyche of those involved, both directly as victims and less directly as observers, has been studied in depth by psychiatrists and psychologists, as have attacks in other locations. The London bombing and 9/11 attacks in New York have both generated large volumes of research information. In the April issue of the British Journal of Psychiatry, a paper exploring the impact of the Paris attacks, headed by Dr Stephanie Vandentorren, of the French Public Health Agency, has been published.

Two groups were studied. First responders were fire officers, rescue workers and so on exposed during the first 12 hours after the events. The second group were witnesses – those who were themselves under threat of being killed, held hostage or injured or had seen somebody in that position, or heard of a close relative in that predicament. These could be either directly exposed or have witnessed them from their homes. Seeing these events only on the media did not constitute exposure. Various face-to-face structured interviews were administered and over 400 people were interviewed.

Among rescue workers, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was diagnosed in 3pc and an anxiety disorder in 14pc. Among civilian witnesses, more than 15pc were significantly distressed, 25pc had possible PTSD, while 18pc were diagnosed definitively with it, and 10pc had depression. As expected, those indirectly threatened had lower levels than close relatives of victims, and the highest rates of mental health problems was in those directly threatened.

Almost half of civilians had more than six months treatment for a mental health problem, compared with a third of first responders. However, most had returned to work six months after the attack. These results show that first responders had lower rates of mental health problems than civilians and they required less professional help.

This study shows that people witnessing traumatic events are more vulnerable to mental health problems than are first responders. It may be that the training those in rescue and first response teams receive helps them withstand the distress of their direct involvement. It is also likely that if they had concerns about mental health difficulties developing after the attacks, they pro-actively sought help as a preventative measure and needed it for a shorter period.

During their training, they will have been made aware of the help that it available should they ever require it. Civilians on the other hand may feel less entitlement to such help and may defer seeking it until their distress is much more incapacitating.

The positive finding, that all but 6pc returned to work, shows the power of healing. Similar results were described following the 9/11 bombings and the London attacks. Either time or therapy seems to have benefited those who were suffering in the aftermath. This surely proves the resilience that human beings are endowed with, enabling them to deal with major traumas and to emerge from the quagmire of distress that engulfed them.

Resilience is determined by several factors. The personality of each individual is probably the single most important element, while the presence of support from family, friends and the community is next. Having a person to talk to is undoubtedly beneficial. The scientific literature on resilience has been developing in recent years and it also describes the value of positive coping, religious coping, having a sense of purpose in life, and altruism.

It is comforting to know we are not long-term victims of the events that befall us. Rather, we are strong and can emerge from the suffering of terrible events with more compassion and a better understanding of life.

With Courtesy of The Indipendent.ie

Don McLean about Vincent: “I had to argue he wasn’t crazy.” Mental Health Awareness Month.

Image result for vincent van gogh portrait

 

In the autumn of 1970 I had a job singing in the school system, playing my guitar in classrooms,” he says.

“I was sitting on the veranda one morning, reading a biography of Van Gogh, and suddenly I knew I had to write a song arguing that he wasn’t crazy.

He had an illness and so did his brother Theo. This makes it different, in my mind, to the garden variety of ‘crazy’ – because he was rejected by a woman [as was commonly thought].

So I sat down with a print of Starry Night and wrote the lyrics out on a paper bag.”

With its bittersweet palette of major and minor chords, Vincent’s soothing melody is one of high emotion recollected in tranquillity.

The lyrical list of colours – the “swirling clouds in violet haze”, the eyes of “China blue” the “snowy linen land” – evoke a mental slide show of the artist’s work.

Don McLean

with courtesy of The Telegraph

Starry, Starry  Night
“And now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now.”
Don McLean
This painting has got great meaning for me, it is the view from the east-facing window of his asylum room at Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, near Arles, South France. Van Gogh was a beautiful march Aries just like me, and he is depicting the constellation of aries in the shape of a scalene triangle. Great empathy. I wish I would have met this great revolutionary Maestro of art painting in my life.

téléchargement.jpgMental-Health-flyer-page-0

Canadian Army Vet’s Story: Ron and Ryan Anderson’s PTSD treatment and homecoming.

This article may hurt the Sensibility of someone; mine, for sure, but this is my duty here.

So, I let you check details of the painful homecoming of this two brothers, back from their last tours in combat zone ( Afghanistan, the last ) and no more capable to deal with a normal family life.

My deeper Compassion and higher Respect go to the whole Family of these guys like they were my own brothers.

By the way, my work here is not a campaign against pills, right?, I won’t take the risk to go against any Big Pharma here, ok? Fuck them, that’s a fact. New York Times staff knows what they do and denounce, but I am Nobody, and I am really not interested in doing any fights against nobody.

What I can do, here, is merely reporting facts and stories, to take example from as well as mine, of course. Many of WP readers just throw up words from nowhere, sorry, because they feel relief with doing it. That’s ok. Do it. The fact I put on my beautiful face, here, it means that I am taking the Responsability of my Words and Actions. And that I am ready to talk about all this mess, and shit, in a public domain like internet or anywhere else, anytime.

Pills took a part of my life and memory, when I was in my 20s. But Nineties are gone, now. Remember how Depression was treated in 50s like Ernest Hemingway. Lobotomia was practiced as cure and therapy. Electroshock, … yes, indeed.

We have turned the century, so, there is no more reason to treat Mental Health with chemicals, guys ! Sure, I know it’s tough, cos I’ve been there, but you are not alone. And I can just suppose that pressure in a military family is very high as well as feelings like Shame and Guilty. Forget the sense of Honour; you did your best, that’s fine, now focus on your Life after combat and your Wellbeing. You do deserve it. Paragraph.

What you can do with your silver cross medals, now?

The first step, really, the hardest one to do is taking this fuc*** First Step and Talk about it and ask for help to someone who is not JUDGEMENTAL. YOU CHOOSE WHO and WHICH PHONE NUMBER. I did it. And things went better and better.

Gotta say that. Done.

***

Ok, I’ll leave you with the link to the full article right here. And bless you, both, Ron and Ryan’s spirits. I wish that if there are other guys like you, they will take the chance to talk about their anger outbursts, lack of control, depressive thoughts and negative stuff with the right person, Right Now.

You won’t do it for YOU? Ok, do it for your Mother, or your Dog. Do it for next Sunset, or Sunrise, that you will enjoy, within your Heart.

Do it for your Self, not your Ego.

The Anderson’s expect that something is done by the governements or the system for preventing suicide. Don’t wait until anything is done from The Outside, darling, pray that something is done from The Inside.

“Knock that door.”

Luv

xx