Social Media break and Mellow Yoga flow Time.

Résultat de recherche d'images pour "social media crazy"

Today was a very bad day for my social networks; I am retunring a smartphone which is disfunctioning, I can’t cope with finding a code to put Whatsapp active, on my older phone, dunno why I don’t have any connection on my other phone, I wanted to upgrade my WordPress to Premium, in order to change layout, but I noticed that in fact you have to pay as well, so I asked to cancel my payment, and my website went down, for couple of hours, finally Paypal rejected also another payment, which I never subscribed….

Well, I promise that I was exhausted and overwhelmed, with all this social stuff, but it was worth it … I could finally take a break !!!!!

I went outdoor for a walk, in nature, 19 degrees, is not bad, with tiny sunshine, and a few dogs on the way… of course Spotify wasn’t loading, so I disconnected, and reconnected to mindful walking. Aha moment 🙂

My work here is going to evolve and I want to put at first subjects like empathy, HSP, dark night of the soul, coping with ptsd….. I need to reorganize this buzz.

If I can get more pro, I will. In any case, this yoga lesson was exactly what I need, deep stretching, and breathing ……

Advertisements

Mystic Signs: Dawn of New Life?

f6594f23dd71ea7a9a15449240b0a983--the-sea-cross-stitches

Before sharing next article, with courtesy of The Mystic.org,  I want to tell you of  a strange thing that happened to me, when I almost turned into madness, before my sick leave was due.

One afternoon, I was walking on the sidewalk, to the supermarket, when I found this watercolor on the hedge. Middle of nowhere. A long hair woman walking on the beach with a long summer dress, a hat on her hand, and a shell on her ear, her eyes closed. My Italian sister is quite a believer, and she told me that a shell in christian symbolism means “listen”.

Well, me too, I was in the middle of nowhere, playing the hamster wheel in my job, unhealthy relationships, far from my true, higher Self. No purpose at all. At the same time, feathers came on my way. Any kind of feathers, just anywhere …. and I did a research, to debunk the code of what was the meaning behind it. Have a guess. Well, what the fuck is this reality? Is it a joke? Lila, as indians say, the “big Game”.

Where do these signs come from? Which level of vibration? Is My Counsciousness trying to tell me there is more than what we think? What I think….

Isn’t being anxious a strong demand of deep faith? Are we not asking to the Great, Invisible Mystery to manifest in our life just to comfort us, and show us that this spiritual and physical pain is useful, somehow?

For the end of the story, at that present moment I didn’t have my smart phone yet, and no chance to take a picture of that watercolor, that I didn’t want to touch, as if it was sacred. Then, when I came back, from my shopping, the painting was gone.

000b1p86

Here in this dark night, the lifelong ego sense dies: impotent. Having fulfilled its part, now weak and incompetent, it is dissolved — transmuted. From a higher sense now awakening within you, you slough off your false sense of self. You now know yourself to be a different person than you thought you were. Your ego was merely experiencing some of the attributes, some of the qualities, of your true nature, while at the same time obstructing others.

You, in passing successfully through the dark night, enter the realms of higher consciousness. You’ve been cleansed of the most deep-rooted sickness: your ignorance of your true nature and your inadequate, often totally wrong opinion of who you are. You now cease your inner conflict and abide serenely in your true nature. The night is over. The dawn of a new life in higher consciousness transforms your bleak life of the past few months into one with a heavenly nature. You have been delivered of the intolerable bondage to ego.

Henceforth, you will walk the earth seeing others afresh, living a new life, and abiding in your true nature. You have become a son or daughter of higher consciousness. Now your words and actions will be attuned with your true self. Now you express inspiration and comfort.

The dark night has passed. It is over.

What must the caterpillar do that it may one day fly?

Change vs Comfort Zone. Anxiety The Bitch says it better.

Anyone going through change in their lives? Since I am following a job career requalification, for the same company, I am invited to change service quite often, and I admit it becomes stressful.

Anxiety is eating my nails, and torturing my hair, …. blood burst, and infections warn my body that something is happening now, and I can’t find a way out.

Tomorrow I will work on my italian CV… and “good luck”.

Change. Maybe one of the most dreaded words for individuals of the anxious variety. When you’ve been holding feelings and emotions to yourself for so long, you learn ways to repress your sadness with distractions, and the occasional breakdown. The problem is, we become more and more comfortable within our surroundings through familiarity alone. Through […]

via The fear of change.. — Anxiety The Bitch

Giving up vs Surrender.

Here are some of the most emotional movies I have ever seen on the TV screen. Stephen King strikes. Despite I feel ashamed not to have read all of his best of. And despite my welsh airman friend would laugh at me, and say swear words in Italian against me, because to him King is just an amateur of horror. He’s more into Lovercraft.

At 16 years old, not only I have started penpalling, but I subscribed all kind of no profit associations which helped to recomfort prisoners. One was Italian, a fan of comics, blond and cute, I can’t remember why he was inmate, lost contact quite soon; I feared he was released and stalk me. Then, this man from Pennsylvania, math teacher, whose sentence was quite heavy, but tried to engage in social life of the correctional system, and wrote a book. He called me Sioux Princess, and wrote to me very long and inspiring letters. Now, this other american teacher, who will spend 23 years in jail, no kidding. Except this last one reached me by International Pen Friends, a friendship association, based in Australia. People who love snail mail are more than welcome. Yes, it still exists.

Where does this empathy for prisoners come from? Perhaps, I finally got it. Do you believe in karma? If so, check your twelve house. I recently found out that Saturn, in my chart, is in the 12th house and means alot of things. It explains me my connection with prisons, hospitals, rehab and monasteries. Spiritual practice and yoga discipline. Dealing with loneliness despite of aloneness. It all started somewhere, and somehow …

Overcoming Confusion and fear of being nothing or nobody; the lure of escaping through drugs, alcohol or a life of fantasy; sense of spiritual isolation; resistance to letting go of trappings of identity.

Encouragement Releasing the temporal for the eternal; a spiritual practice; strong sense of deep service; direct engagement with spirit.

A big theme here is taking responsibility (Saturn) for your own spiritual direction. And in the Twelfth House, the lessons are about the art of surrender.

In her book, Intuitive Astrology, Elizabeth Rose Campbell writes, “One of the biggest challenges of the twelfth house, ruled by Pisces and the planet Neptune, is understanding the difference between giving up and surrendering. Giving up is an abandonment of one’s center and capacity to respond. With that abandonment comes a loss of instinct. To surrender to a circumstance, even a difficult one, is a different dance entirely. You must retain self love and self respect through the surrender.”

Btw, freedom is one of my greatest goal and achievement in this lifetime. You can bet it.

John Coffey: “I’m tired, Boss. Tired of being on the road, lonely as sparrow in the rain. I’m tired of never having a buddy to be with, to tell me where we’re going to, coming from or why. Mostly, I’m tired of people being ugly to each other”.

Ellis Boy “Red” Redding: I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I? don’t wanna know. I would like to think they were singing about some thing was so beautiful it cant be expressed in words and make your heart ache because of it.I tell you this voice soared higher and farther than anybody in a Gray place dares to dream it is like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away. For the briefest moment every last man in Shawshank felt free.

 

Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Good Morning you all,

in my last days off work, I ‘ve decided to wake up, cosy and lazy, totally no hurry, and take a breakfast in bed.  Weather is still cold and snowy out there. Not only in France, but also in Italy, Wales and Canada. Wherever I have peers and friends, it’s white …

Don’t you find snow zen like?  It compells people to go slower, be careful on the way you march in, the shoes you choose, the way you drive. Being aware of what usually you are not taking the time to. Like breathing. Can you just take a moment to deeply breath the fresh air and just stare all around? And feel grateful to own a cosy apart where to cocoon in weekend days? or in the evening before sleeping?

When you feel alone, think of whom are outside, struggling with tough conditions and go and take a warm shower. It is divine.

I’ll suggest a good dessert or smooth, spicy hot wine, if it stays reasonable, and you are ok with your body, and watch one of these long lasting cult movies, that you will certainly hire with a license in a rental shop, …  or listen to this fab cello duo from Croatia, which I find absolutely CRAZY and AMAZING. You won’t think to classical music the same than before.

Enjoy your day.

Emotional Pride vs Memory pill.

ideesWhat stand emotions for ? Why can they be negative, and not only positive, and how can we better manage the negative ones ? Especially, after burn out, or trauma ? Do we feel the same at same level? Of course, we don’t. Since we are unique beings. Unique hearts and minds.

As unaware empath and higher sensitive person, I struggled to gain emotional balance all my life. In forty three years, I have been thinking : « This is my fault. I am not strong enough. I won’t ever fit in the box »

To be honest, fitting that box, the more I try, the more I fail. When you come up to be forty, and you knoe that you are not a girl anymore, and still don’t feel elderly either, finding harmony within becomes a priority. You get to be aligned between your mind and heart. Emotion is the connection between feelings and thoughts. When you feel sad, angry, joyful, stressed out, sit down, reconnect with your breathing, and listen.

What that emotion is telling you ? Stay with that feeling, …

maxresdefault

A few days ago, I found this french-canadian project called « Paris Mem », which invite victims from Paris attacks, or family members, to start a therapy with this pill which erases short-term memory. The pill is already used in anxiety therapies, and the purpose is to delete negative emotions from your brain.

For sure, pain of loss and terrible souvenirs do influence your life, and choices. But do you really think that « the quicker the better » ? If emotions are there to connect our selves with our true Self, and others, what about putting them off ?

Ever heard of risks of alienating ? And schizofrenia ? If you separate your inner Self from mind control, what will you become ? Are you sure is that quicker ?

« Waking up » from my anxiety medical treatment took me less than my doctors believed. And still, I feel lucky. In mid 90s, the neuropsychiatry said to my mother that in order to regain my memory back from treatment, it would take twenty years.

What if … what if, I started my psychoterapy at age of 21? what if, I became aware of being a higher sensitive person, and taking responsability of my being an artist. Or, at least, start improving my skills, and believe in Me. What If, I took actions alone, and not under the influence of an over controlling, loving, motherhood. Love you, mom, but perhaps tourism wasn’t the best option for me. And it’s time, now, to drive on my own.

Today, I am leaving a job, because of my medical restrictions, which include dealing with massive public and conflicts management ; in a few words, avoiding stressful situations with guests relations. Me, overwhelmed ? Yes, so what, from now on?

Btw, when I affirm that my healing process started with meeting Native Americans, I really mean it. My friend’s father, Leon Goodstriker, was a reputed Medicine Man from Canadian Blackfoot Indian Reservation. Rufus and George came to Italy for giving speeches in bio conferences ; George was recovering from alcohol addiction, as many Native Americans, unfortunately. He inspired me so much. Nineties were the ideal time for Indian Americans to cross overseas and come teach their culture to Wasicu, the whitemen. Some of them did it only for money. A sort of historical revenge, but a few whom I was honoured to meet, became friends for life. And still are.

goodstriker-brothers

Rufus, didn’t do anything special to me, we just discussed, and I guess he capted me. The kind of person who can feel you. Or perhaps can read your aura. He just smiled at me, and had a good laugh. I was kind of surprised, because I didn’t expect them to be so hilarious and holding that huge sense of humour. Like we could laugh about anything, especially life and death. I mean, we struggle to live and then, we die. Aint’it worth a fabulous laugh ? His face is very expressive, and peaceful. His son, Leon, who is school bus driver, in Edmonton, today, and played a good role in Last of the Mohicans, remind me of that great figure of his Father. And make me smile.

Isn’t that a great start for healing ? I mean, laughing. It is. It helps putting a distance between you and the past events you have been through. It helps regulating your heart breathing, and it puts happiness hormones at work ( oxitine ).

What about feeling numb, now ? How can you find a purpose to your struggle, if you delete negative emotions like pain, anger, sadness ? What about personal growth, life questioning, and karmic debt ? What if these experiences, that we have been through, were necessary to our own Soul Progress?

« Karmic debt refers to the amount and type of experiences the individual must go through or endure, to explore his own beliefs of separation as well as emotions and feelings caused by them, in order to ultimately resolve them into spiritual truths and healing. Karma is always negative and heavy. »

Stress as Self Defense. Burn out vs Stroke.

“There’s a lot of stress out there, and to handle it, you just need to believe in yourself; always go back to the person that you know you are, and don’t let anybody tell you any different, because everyone’s special and everyone’s awesome.” – McKayla Maroney

Sleep deprivation, anxiety, overthinking, anger and frustration, can lead to over producing the hormone called Cortisol. These factors elevate stress hormones and can have negative impacts on the brain, including the hippocampus. When I slept 3-4 hours per night, due to chronic stress and trauma, my nervous system short-circuited. In bed, before falling asleep, my legs used to shimmer, not like normally would when you are shy, or cold, for example, but more like convulsions. Until 1 am.

The same, at work, once a guest lost his bag from airport, and asked for help, in tears, getting angry cos I didn’t show very proactive or empathic ( airports procedures can be very slow and frustrating on the phone ), but real fact is that I was so fed up that I had my hands shimmering without any control. Simply, I couldn’t stand complaining about minor matters than a terrorist attack any more. That means I was overreacting to any stressful situation. I couldn’t put any distance at all. Anytime I felt in danger, my body started shaking. It could be an unhappy guest, or a couple quarrelling on the street, or police cars with blue lights … my body put me in fight or flight protection’s system.

Adrenalin and cortisol, when produced in overdose, stimulate your body so much that the memory of the traumatic event keeps this process of shaking. Then your body is releasing the massive energy slowly anytime it is possible, in order to calm down and relax. So trauma manifests him self by this loop of neurobiological response that keeps you blocked in a physical and mental prison. Until the signal of « danger is over » comes to your body. And your plus energy flows away, naturally.

It’s like we have to say to our body : « Ok, now you can let go, danger is over! »

Imagine a gazelle escaping from a lion, that is so-called « fight or flight » scheme, when adrenaline and cortisol are at theur top production. Now, can you figure out the same gazelle after one year and more holding on escaping ?

It scents blood.

It has long been established that stress-related illnesses, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) trigger changes in brain structure, including differences in the volume of gray matter versus white matter, as well as the and size and connectivity of the amygdala,” says endurance athlete, coach and author, Christopher Bergland.

Theferore, if you are interested in taking care of your brain, I invite you to learn more about chronic stress effects on your amigdala.

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/how-stress-changes-brain/

Of course, I am a caffein addicted. And sometimes I try to change my habit into a healthier one, like green tea or chai, ginger and so on. But it’s really heavy for me that I am Italian. Bad habits, bad heritage.

Stress can kill you, you have to be aware of it. If you have a chance, it might as well save your life. It depends if you have the chance to recognize it, and say STOP. Or someone else will do it for you.

That’s fine. Except it might be quite late for your brain’s damage. Neurons gone; and you lost. Preferably, left alone. Nobody holding your hand. Can you figure it out?

Burn out is called “strong disease”. I am a case study. And following are real facts.

In 2016, at work, right after november 2015 Paris attacks, in four months, I lost three camerades. Age 27, 38, and 43. The last one had four children, and had an argument with the manager, at 7 am. He fell for a stroke. They waited for help, and he was brought to hospital by helicopter. When you have a stroke timing is essential. You get 4 hours time before it’s too late. Also brain functions damages can be relevant. While director called all teams in a room, to announce us that our english colleague was lying in be at hospital, his parents were on their way to decide to unplug his machine. They said it was not related to work, or stress disease, nobody could prove it, anyway. In three days afer his unlucky accident, we were collecting money to burn his body. Three days and your own truth is blowing in the wind.

 

The others two, stroke again ( bad feeding habits, obesity realated? ), and infarctus, this one, after a ride on a bycicle, early in the morning. He was 27, and worked in the restaurant’s kitchen. He also had an argument, with managament, before going home. I could notice, the higher rate of casualties happen in food&beverage environments, where the talk and hierarchy are much alike army.

A few other colleagues from reception had health issues during summer 2015. The time of my panic attack. « It is personal ». « She is anorexic. » « She takes heavy treatments for breast cancer. » « She is just tired. » And me, I was – obviously – too sensitive.

Researchers who conducted a study on the effects of stress and stroke measured chronic stress in 5 major areas:

  • Personal health problems
  • Health problems in others close to the patient
  • Job or ability to work
  • Relationships
  • Finances

Use this list to assess where your chronic stress is coming from.

https://www.flintrehab.com/2015/can-stress-cause-a-stroke/

Nobody could mesure Stress Conditions, because there is no way to put a code for stress. Stress is defined a personal and individual response to danger conditions. We are unique individuals with different responses.You can’t put responsability to bad behaviour of someone or bad management. That’s also why it is so much important that you take responsability for Your Self. And Self Love starts with learning to say “NO”, or “ENOUGH”. Didn’t you have enough yet? Did you learn to put your borders?

Start now.