**DO NOT READ IN A FRIDAY NIGHT**

Right to Kill (1985) – It is based on a true story of two teens living in Wyoming, Richard Jahnke and Deborah Jahnke, who were charged for the killing of their psychotically abusive father, Richard Jahnke, Sr.

Dad did not beat us – my brother and I – but I read that psychological violence is STILL violence. Any behaviour that does not allow to “express yourself” can become very abusive, well, we were just kids, and kids are chaotic and get into troubles sometimes!! That’s what parenting should stand for. To watch out. Not to terrorize children. As reaction, my brother turned out to be sadic, solitary, and antisocial. He wrote in a teenager’s journal: “I am a masochist”. He turned his anger toward himself locked in silence. His artistic potential never expressed. Never shared. His books were all about terror, horror and crime stories. Comics sci-fi, Lovercraft, E A Poe and the big book of Fear.

As little girl, I secretly grew up expecting the worse..

One day we were watching this movie “Right to Kill” that in Italian sounds “honor your father” like it is said in the Bible. The two teens were planning to kill their psychotic father. I didn’t dare to look at my brother’s face. My brother is older than me +5. My dad is not psychotic, he is just full of neurosis. He talks very loud, and does not listen. People adore him. He is a real speaker and brags a long career in reading. He loves Plato.

Yes, people like Sinead O’Connor or those kids of the true story probably lived worse than we did, as kids and teens. But you can’t compare. You cannot KNOW how many times a kid or teen can self-harm in his mind, reliving worse scenery, that maybe never even happened.

You can’t enter the mind of an abused girl or boy as much as you can’t enter a teenager’s room.

My second dedication is for the two little boy and girl watching together “Right to Kill”. Glad that we never owned guns in our home. Dad sold them and changed them against ham !! (pork)

Who knows? Survival instinct.

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