My Story

Vous parlez anglais?

 In the aftermath of terror attacks, in Paris 2015, I knew panic and fear at workplace and PTSD soon started with insomnia, poor emotional intelligence, inability to put words on my own feelings, anxiety and fear of going crazy, exhaustion and chronique fatigue disease, after sleep burn out, tremors (mouth, legs, hands), tachycardia, and short memory loss, just to mention a few. Others symptoms you can’t just describe, like a sort of electrochemical pinching in your veins, especially in legs, or warmth flames in the back, which give you the right sense of burning from the inside out. After 6 months after terror attacks ( from january to june ), I got completely unbalanced, both emotionally, and physically, put on weight, panic attacks, anger outbursts, no way to do my job anymore, like dealing with typical visitors problem solving ( e.g. can’t stand people crying for a lost baggage, or a fully booked restaurant anymore, “damn stop it, please” ). Any yelling, for any reasons, and self defense goes on freeze, fly or fight. Why do people need to shout?

Artist’s Man in Latin Quartier.

“IF YOU WERE IN ANY ANOTHER COMPANY YOU WOULD BE OUT”

In february 2016, I was diagnosed definitely inadequate to my position. Until 19th september 2019, when I signed up for a long term deal in the present service for the same Company in which I broke down medically stated on 14th september 2016, after temporary therapeutic part time and several short term missions. Of course, you have to consider a deep cleaning of your personal life, as well as a full transformation of your jobcareer and lifestyle. You can’t figure out coping with PTSD and holding on the same life schedule than before trauma. It involves stop overthinking, letting go, and modulating negative emotional responses compared with the healthy controls.

Antonella Barberini
PTSD Beautiful Trauma
Web Editor, Dreamer and Author

New Beginning.

If you want to know more About Me and My Sense of Purpose, please, follow here.